The End of a Hot Girl Summer

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The End of a Hot Girl Summer

When Cash Money took over for the Nine-Nine and the Two Thousand, they needed a Hot Girl.

In 2019 Meg the Stallion revived the need for a hot girl and even went as far as to dedicate the entire summer of 2019 to these sought after women.

Although Aiden taught me that 40 is NOT the new 20, I still opted in on the summer festivities, and TRUTH IS IM TIDE!!!

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Whew! I have never been happier for a season to end. I am not talking about the season where you are extra broke and the Pastor tells you it’s over during the prosperity sermon right before they request your seed kind of tired. I'm talking about whew I can't remember what I did last night, but I know I had fun because my friends made sure to record it tired.

Now, of course, there were sermons and memes dedicated to making this Hot Girl Summer added as the eighth deadly sin. Because God forbid that women participate in anything that isn’t sexualized. But I’m here to tell you, the hot girls I know were out here making moves, money and most definitely living their BEST life!!!

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I watched the hot girls I know traveling with other hot girls…

Travel with somebody’s son….

Travel by their damn selves…

Get Married….

Welcome new life…

Get promotions…

Start new jobs…

Quit jobs they hate…

Start businesses…

Find their purpose…

Relocate for love…

Relocate for a fresh start…

Enroll in yet ANOTHER degree program…

Enjoy the company of somebody’s son…

Let go of bad relationships…

Take leaps of faith…

Write their stories…

RECLAIM THEIR TIME!!!!! (Shout Out to my 12 for always keeping me abreast of the ways the modern mom reclaims her time.)

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The hot girls I know lived their life UNAPOLOGETICALLY this summer because they don’t allow others to define what their life should look like or what gives them joy.

As for me… What did I do this Hot Girl Summer?

I started my hot girl summer with my line sisters, and in true Oh-Foe fashion, we didn’t let a little stampede stop our fun. We enjoyed good food, good music and a plethora of full beards. Hey Philly… What’s Good?!?

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I enjoyed Summer Music Festivals with my friends.

I had dinners with somebody’s sons.

I brunched.

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I got Aiden on a schedule (but as the season's change I learned so do sleep schedules).

I lunched… SHOUT OUT to Zama’s Mexican Grille!!!

I got flewed out.

I turned 40 AGAIN.

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I wrote my first novel.

I finished my 2020 Priority Planner. 

I helped others publish.

I did my first 45 Day Writing Challenge.

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And I did as my Ari always taught me……. I made sure to hold my head high and NEVER let my crown slip.

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Now that this hot girl summer has come to an end that doesn't mean the Hot Girls have to stop living. It is F*** 'Em Up Fall!!! We have to apply more pressure. No need to wait until the New Year to set those new goals…. Every day is a clean slate! Start on those goals NOW!!!

Tell me… How was your Hot Girl Summer?

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Epic Fail

Last time I wrote was February 2018.

I already discussed my commitment issues, so I won’t go into detail about why. I have been meaning to write. There have been several topics in my head, but I just didn’t sit down and do it.   *mental note* Work on my follow through.

Last time I wrote I was on a man fast… Well, let me tell you how that worked out for me.

It didn’t.

I got pregnant.

I didn’t get pregnant while on the man fast, but as soon as my 90 days were up…. two lines on the stick. Actually, there were two lines on all seven of the sticks. One of the sticks was so tired of me instead of two pink lines it said, “Yes! Dee you are knocked up!”

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As many of you know I lost my daughter October 2015 in a fatal car accident.  I can’t count the amount of times people asked me if I was going to have another child. I always answered, “No, I would be too afraid I would have a girl.” I just could not envision having another child, to even think about it made me feel like I was cheating on Ari.  Whenever I would joke with her about having another child she would reply: “No! You don’t need a child because you’re not responsible enough, and I’m not going to watch it.”

She was definitely going to watch it. I pray she is watching over him now.

On January 5, 2019 I gave birth to a baby boy, Aiden Isaiah. Some of you know the story behind Isaiah 43:2. The moment I found out I was pregnant I knew his name would be Isaiah. The moment I found out I was pregnant I knew it was going to be a boy. I was actually going to name Ari Isaiah had she been a boy. Funny how things work. 

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Being pregnant this time around was much different than when I was pregnant at 20 years old, mainly because I am 40 years old. Forty is NOT the new 20, if you think so just try being pregnant at 40.  Throughout my pregnancy I was depressed.  In the beginning I was depressed because I got caught slipping. I was too old to be making these kinds of “mistakes”. Then I begin to feel depressed because it seemed like I was replacing the irreplaceable.  Everyone was overjoyed for me. Many cried, congratulated and self-appointed themselves to roles in the new child’s life.  I tried to be excited, but something was holding me back.

I think it was guilt. I felt guilty for being happy when I had lost the love of my life.

My life is different now.  I have to be structured again. I cannot do what I want, when I want, and it is a major adjustment.  I joke around and tell Aiden that he is not the boss of me, but he is. I am working on his schedule. How did that happen?! Does he not know that EYE am the boss!?

I admit I partied A LOT when I was a young mother with Ari. I didn’t have none of my life together… not na’an part of it.  I don’t remember babies needing this much stuff and I surely don’t remember it being this expensive. So, I had to get back on my shit! GRIND TIME!!!

One thing my mom taught me was how to get a check. When Ari passed I dived into different business ventures to occupy my time.  Work was work, just a method to get paid.  I wasn’t concerned with if what I was doing was my passion, or if it was what God created me to do.  I am good at handling people’s money, but I do not like doing it.  I was just trying to get paid. The motto: Get dis mahknee!!!

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I stopped teaching after Ari’s death. Ultimately because I couldn’t handle being in the school environment, even though I know teaching is what I am created to do. For some reason last year, I had the desire to go back into the classroom. I started looking for teaching jobs before I found out I was pregnant.  I also looked for teaching jobs in other states. Yes, I decided that I was going to gather the strength to “leave Ari”.  I finally realized that she wasn’t in Huntsville, it was just where her body was buried.

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I am now teaching middle school English. Yeah, close your mouth. I am just as shocked as you.  It has been quite an experience, I am finally (Now that I have made it to the end of the school year) getting the hang of it and I think I kind of like it. I also decided to step out and do something I was trying so hard to avoid doing, publishing books. I established To Dee Moon Publishing for my personal endeavors, I never intended to publish anyone else’s work.  I helped people if they asked for help but I tried not to put myself out there as a publisher.  Then one day, two people that “I can’t stand”, pushed me right into it.  Yeah, once again, God does not consider my plans. He just does what He wants in my life.

So, there you have it.  The update I was supposed to give you “about a year ago”.

Better late than never.

I promise I am going to write more. 

 

 

 

 

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I'm not a player, I just date a lot.

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I'm not a player, I just date a lot.

Generally when a new year starts I fast; from food, social media, alcohol amongst a few other things. This year is a little different, I'm on what we have pinned a "Man Fast".  Listen! I rather not eat for forty days and forty nights in the wilderness with sandals and a bed sheet on.  Because this is hard for me!!!


I want to make it perfectly clear....  "I'm not a player, I just date a lot".  If I am single and a man claims that he is single (or not so single) and he just so happens to want to take me to eat, well he had me at eat. 

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I date.  Not alot, well enough to where I never buy groceries but that's not the point here.  I know the "new thing" is that we don't date unless we are trying to build a relationship or whatever.  I agree that probably is the end goal. However, I also think we have lost the art of conversation and the simple ideology of "getting to know someone".  

So I date. I have gained some very good friends from these dates, which doesn't always work in my favor because once he realizes he is in the friend zone he doesn't always want to pay but thats also not the point here.
 

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The point is it's February and I'm on a "Man Fast", which means I won't have a Valentine!!! I've never not had a Valentine.  My first Valentine was in 3rd grade when Brad Allen gave me a chocolate heart and a Valentine card. Not the Valentine card that came in the box that everyone got, nope, I had a special one. 

I turn 40 this year and 2nd grade is the last time I can remember NOT having a Valentine. I like gifts. I don't know how to feel about this.  I think I may be going through withdrawals but I can't break this fast. Well, not unless my 6 ft tall (at least), chocolate, with a full beard, God fearing husband finds me.  Then I have to listen to God. I can't be disobedient.  I am going to try this thing I hear single women talk about, "date yourself".  I don't quite know how that works but I guess that means go to dinner and stuff alone.  

Yeah, this is going to be hard. So this month, I am asking all my prayer warriors to add me to your spiritual priorities and pray for me during this season of my life. And I will keep you updated on how this "Man Fast" is going. But I don't want the men to count me out just yet.... LOL! This too shall pass!!!


To the Moon!
-Danielle LaVon

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It's Just 10 Questions....

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It's Just 10 Questions....

I am always trying to improve, be more creative and expand with my product line. So I need your feedback on the 2018 Priority Planner.

Even if you have not ordered any of the Priority products I ask that you complete this survey.  It helps me to understand my following.

Again, thank you for all of your support!

To the Moon!

Danielle LaVon

CLICK HERE TO TAKE THE SURVEY

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Commitment Issues

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Commitment Issues

I am not ashamed to admit that I have commitment issues.  There are just some things I can NOT commit to, such as; hair color, gym memberships, and a comforter set. (holds head in shame) I guess it is a bit of a contradiction for "Ms. Priority Planner” to have commitment issues, but it’s actually quite the opposite.  My commitment issues are the reason why I plan.
 
See in order for me to not procrastinate or get off track I need to plan.  I need to see my priorities written down on paper to remind me: “Dee you HAVE to get this done!”  Otherwise I will ignore them and go on with my day, living my best carefree life, free of commitment or accountability. 
 
If I had a dollar every time someone told me “I just put stuff in my phone.” I could leave the planner business and retire to a condo on the beach.  There is a MAJOR difference in putting reminders in your phone and sitting down to actually write out your plan.  Do you know how many alarms I set just to wake up late in the morning?! Phones are for hotline bling, appointment reminders and distractions; planners are for “getting your life together”.
 

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It is a new year and we have made our vision boards, set new goals and are brand new people. With this in mind, I added the "Weekly Commitment" section to the 2018 Priority Planner. This section is for people like me who need to ease into new ventures.  The weekly commitment allows you to take gradual (weekly) steps towards your long term goal.  I challenge you this week to set your weekly commitment.  If you are working on your health set a water commitment. If you have financial goals, set a spending commitment.  Small commitments can lead to HUGE accomplishments.

This week my commitment is to work out 3 times a week for at least 30 minutes. I turn 40 this year and I'm coming of Nicole Murphy! I'm about to be Lena Horn fine. (Well... that's if I don't hit snooze on my "time to work out" alarm)
 

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I want to know your weekly commitment.  You can share it with me via email or social media.  I will check in with you next week to see how it went.  Good Luck!

 

To the Moon!

Danielle LaVon

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Hello 2018!

It looks like we all made it…. We are five days into the new year and I hope everyone is feeling refreshed, revived and ready to take on the world!!!

What have I been doing? Well I’m glad you asked!

2017 was a year of constant change for me.  I experienced some highs, such as publishing my first Priority Planner and a book collaboration “Sorry for Your Loss”.  Then I experienced some lows, financial ones and I dealt with depression from the loss of my daughter. But as Bigmama says… I made it through!

There is no sense in dwelling on the past, it is over and there is nothing we can do about it but learn from it and keep moving. In true Danielle LaVon fashion, I have been taking some time to get my priorities in order, with my NEW 2018 Priority Planner.  (Order yours now if you haven’t already done so) I have redesigned the planner a little, and if you need a little direction on how to start I am here to help!

Priority:  a thing that is regarded as more important than another, the right to take precedence or to proceed before others.

Step One:  How do I start?

You will start each month and/or week with monthly/weekly planning. In order to be most productive, you need to determine what day and time is best for you to sit down and map out your top priorities for the week. 

I usually take Sunday evenings, after I have finished my after church nap, to figure out what I need to do for the week.  I turn on Erykah Badu, put on my pyramid sweats and try to get my life together.  But you have to figure out what’s best for you.  Here are just a few suggestions:

Where do you feel most productive? Is this at home? Your dining room table? Your desk?

Unplug!!! Our biggest distraction is our phone. So set your phone to Do Not Disturb (I don’t know what Android users have), and unplug for a designated amount of time sufficient for you to get your life together.  Afterwards you can go back to scrolling.

Figure out what you need to accomplish by the end of your work week.

Step Two:  Manage Priorities NOT time!!!

The purpose of the Priority Planner is to make sure you prioritize in order to be productive and organized.  We can’t stop time but we can make sure we are using the time we have to benefit us.  Identifying your top priority for the month/week/day will allow you to feel accomplished even if things take an unforeseen turn.

Step Three:  Be realistic and intentional!

 The key to being productive and accomplishing your goals is to be realistic and intentional.  For instance, I wouldn’t make my top priority “Create Planner”, instead I would make “find quotes for planner” a priority.  Make sure you aren’t skipping steps!  This is why it is important to understand what it takes to accomplish your goals.

Ask yourself these questions when you are making your priority lists:

1)        Is this a task or an accomplishment? Instead of thinking about the finished product, think of the things you need to do to complete the project. That is what you need to list as a priority.

2)        If I do nothing but this ONE task, will it put me a step closer to completing my overall goal?

3)        Will I feel accomplished if this is the only task I complete?

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Step Four:  COMMIT

I have a confession; I have commitment issues (covers face in shame).  Sometimes if things seem too far into the distance it scares me a little and I think to myself, “I don’t know what I will be doing then, I’m not going to plan that right now.”  So instead of focusing on the long term, I take things one day (or 5 days) at a time.  Make small commitments that will eventually lead to your BIGGER goal.  As my favorite fitness trainer always says, TRUST THE PROCESS!

You are not going to become an overnight success. There are small, tedious steps that no one sees that lead to what you are trying to become. If you make the commitment and prioritize your steps, you will make the process look easy and effortless.

Step Five: Evaluate

You may be able to fool people, but you can’t fool yourself.  Each day you have the opportunity to evaluate yourself.  How did you feel? Were you productive? Do you need to do more?  Then at the end of the week, you should evaluate your overall productivity level.  Do you need to recommit? What did you learn from this week? Do you need a different strategy?  Evaluation is a VERY important part of the process. DON’T SKIP STEPS!!!

After the evaluation, recommit and start over the next day/week.  Each day/week is a fresh start, don’t get down or frustrated.  And if you ever get tired, learn to rest, DON’T QUIT!!!

Step Six: Happy Hour

I know, according to the wealthy, they never sleep (side eyes).  However, I need rest in order to be productive.  This is not to say I don’t work some late nights, but rest and relaxation is very important.  You need it to stay sane. 

Happy Hour should also be a priority, this is the time to do things that make you happy, such as spending time with your family, friends, bae, or binge watching shows on Netflix.  You can’t be all work no play; you have to take time to free your mind.  Although your business and financial goals are important, it’s just as important to make time for the things that are priceless. 

Step Seven: START!!!

We can go on and on about what to do and how to do it, but the most important thing to do in order to accomplish your goals is to simply START!!! You’ve made it this far! You’ve bought the planner (and I don’t give refunds), so all you have to do now is START!!!

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I'm a Much Better Best Friend than Wife

I wasn’t the traditional college student.  When I moved to Georgia to attend Clark Atlanta I had a 4-year-old daughter.  My focus and priorities were different than most of my peers. I was trying to be a better woman, so I could be a better mother.  Now although my goals were different I still had fun and experienced what many college students experienced, except when it came to dating, because most of the males were younger than me and didn’t want a “ready-made” family.

So I had a “boyfriend” back home in Birmingham, I don’t believe in long distance relationships so we had an understanding.  That was until I graduated.  After graduation I went into, I’m ready to settle down mode.  Not because I was ready to settle down, but because I felt that I had done everything else and it was “just time”.  After 3 years of being “together” during college I figured my “boyfriend” from home should be ready as well.

After college I got a job, new car and had a nice place to stay.  It felt like me and Ari had made it, except I didn’t have that husband.  Although my now ex-husband, loved me he was not ready to settle down, he was still playing the field.  But I felt like we had been together too long, I had invested too much in the relationship.  So I waited while simultaneously letting him know, “No pressure but if you don’t get your shit together then I’m leaving.”

Now let me explain something…. Me and my ex-husband are the best of friends.  We grew up together, we went through a lot together.  We aren’t the kind of best friends described in the Instagram wedding anniversary captions.  We are the type of best friends that crack on each other, play practical jokes and sit in the bathroom talking to each other while one takes a sh*t kind of best friends. We can complete each other sentences, we are great business partners and we talk about any and everything.  However, when it comes to romance, the spark just wasn’t there.  I think the best way to explain our marriage was, I was married in the friend zone.

I began to realize that I’m a much better best friend than a wife.

I knew this for years, that I was in the friend zone.  But how often do you actually marry your best friend? So I overlooked a lot, and stayed when I knew my marriage was missing a vital part. I grew up with grandparents that were married for 60 years and I was taught you just hung in there, you were supposed to make your marriage work. 

Again, I knew I was a much better best friend than I was a wife.

I recently saw an interview where Clifford “T.I.” Harris was discussing his recent relationship issues that he and his wife “Tameka “Tiny” Harris are going through.  Not that it’s any of our business but he decided to share. He said in the interview “he is a better best friend than a husband” and I could completely relate to this statement.

He also stated in the interview that “marriage is a distraction”. Whew! This statement made many women on all social media outlets stand on their soap box. But… well… I mean… I get that too. *insert girl shrugging emoji*

See when I graduated from college most of the people who graduated with me pursued careers, traveled and had a good time.  Many women I know often told me, “I am focusing on my career right now, I don’t have time for a relationship.”  I on the other hand was focused on the relationship………

If I had known THEN what I know NOW!!!

I would have focused on myself.  I would have not been distracted with the idea of marriage.  Honestly, it was the idea of marriage that I craved, not really marriage.

Do you remember when you were in Middle/High School and whenever you mentioned a boyfriend/girlfriend an adult would say:  “Focus on getting your lesson, you don’t need to think about those nappy head little boys.” Or maybe that was just what my mama always said.

Anyway…. I think a lot of marriages/relationships encounter what TI & Tiny are going through.  I think that what TI was saying, yet he kind of worded it wrong was:

Right now he is focused on getting to the next level.  It’s not that he doesn’t love Tiny, but sometimes we have to sacrifice small things in order to get to the big thing.  I’m a woman, I’m a little spoiled and needy. I want what I want, when I want it.  I sometimes, on occasions, have expected men to do things MY way.  I may have been selfish, and demanded someone’s time when their time should have been spent on more productive things.  I have also given of my time when I should have been focused on other things.

I respect Tip.  He hasn’t said anything bad against Tiny.  He simply was honest in saying, I can’t give you what you need in a marriage, but I know I’m a better best friend.

How many women have complained or gotten mad at men who were not honest about where they wanted the relationship to go? How many times have you heard women say “If you don’t want to be with me then just tell me!” But when a man does tell you that he doesn’t want to be with you then we get mad. 

Hell these men can’t win for losing!

I don’t know everything that is going on in TI and Tiny’s relationship, and I don’t care to know.  I’m just trying to grow up and get over my own commitment issues.  But I’m sure we may get a little insight on things since a new season of Family Hustle begins tonight. (side eyes… Great promo) But I will say that right now, where I am in my life, being in a relationship is a bit of a distraction.  That is unless you are tall, dark, with a thick beard & rich…. I mean a little distraction never hurt nobody :) 

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